By Sam Smith
Alas, we meet again!
I guess you liked my real life review of the Botanical Trading Co Stain Remover. I can’t say I blame you - that had journalistic integrity. It had HEART.
Well, I’m back, and this time I have a papercut and I am raring to go.
I have been blessed with a series of talents. I can grow a garden bigger and better than anyone else’s in my neighbourhood. I can fix a small engine, I can play a guitar, I can ride a motorcycle. I can cook, bake, and sew with the best of the homesteaders. I can build a chicken coop and fence a yard and build an addition on my house. Hell, I can write. Every single one of these has a commonality when I am at the helm*.
I will, inevitably, get hurt doing each and every one of these things at some point in time.
I always have some manner of abrasion or cut, and thanks to incredibly sensitive skin, I react to the adhesive used on most traditional bandages. It also doesn’t feel great to toss a latex or fabric bandage in the garbage, knowing full well that it will outlast the origami bookmark that gave me the papercut that I needed the bandage for in the first place.
Have I mentioned that I also have four kids? If you think that I get hurt a lot, just wait til you meet this brood. Falling off bikes, getting pinched in a trampoline spring, falling during a very aggressive game of tag, stepping on a thistle, getting stung by a bee, getting a blister from a just-too-small-but-make-it-last-this-season shoe: that’s all in a day’s work! They are worse than me for needing/wanting bandages. I used to have to hide them to avoid finding bandages all over the house. Parents, are you with me on this yet?
Enough is enough! We need to stop wasting bandages. Fortunately, Patch Natural Bamboo Strip Bandages arrived just in time for me to take up my newest hobby, woodworking.
Patch Natural Bamboo Strip Bandages differ from traditional bandages in three very important ways:
- They are hypoallergenic
- They are biodegradable
- They are sustainable
Bamboo is an easily renewable resource. A perennial plant requiring little water, it’s sustainability has been touted for decades. Perhaps a lesser known fact about bamboo is that it is hypoallergenic, and has naturally astringent properties. It’s also breathable, which is very important to the healing process for any cut or abrasion. Best of all, it is completely biodegradable and can be composted.
These perform exactly the same as the traditional bandage brands that I have used (and believe me, I have used plenty). They stay in place, they promote healing, and they keep out dirt and bacteria. It’s such a simple, easy, effortless switch. It’s a positive change you can feel good about making, knowing that the planet is that much better off. These are the small steps that count when we look at healing the earth on a larger scale.
But I digress. You aren’t reading this far down to find out more about bandages. You’re here for the list of ways I got hurt, aren’t you?
Fine, here it is. The list of ways I got hurt:
- Got a nasty splinter from a trellis I was trying to put in the ground but hit a rock.
- Somehow cut myself pulling a weed? Like, the weed cut me?
- Accidentally grabbed the blade end of the pruning shears.
Fixing a small engine:
- Wrench slipped while disassembling the recoil of a rototiller, ultimately scraping the palm of my hand.
- Pinched my finger while trying to reassemble the same recoil, cutting the inside of my finger. This project was a waking nightmare.
- Strings needed changing, but I am stubborn and played them until one snapped. Fortunately it only got me in the arm, but those are metal strings. They are sharp.
- Changed the strings (you know, after one snapped) and didn’t bend them in after the fact. Nasty cut along the forearm of my strumming hand from loose strings at the bridge.
Riding a motorcycle:
- I crashed it. Covered head to toe in bandages for a month.
- Cut myself chopping any of the following:
- Apples again
- I have burned myself on the oven door more times than I would care to share.
- Obviously I stabbed myself with the sewing needle, I am terrible at sewing.
Building a chicken coop:
- Caught my leg on the edge of some chicken wire while enclosing the run.
- I didn’t not hit myself in the thumb with a hammer, breaking the nail halfway down.
- Paper cut. Enough said.
I hope my series of mishaps has encouraged you to have a first aid kit and find a neighbour who is a paramedic. Or, at the very least, keep some Patch Bandages on hand.